Bye, Bye Cascadia

Life goes on until it doesn’t. Seems cliche, it is. A few weeks ago I was thinking about the families in Palestine and Israel whose lives were “normal” one day, the next moment thrown into the chaos of war. I thought about those who suddenly find their homes swept away in a natural disaster. Life can change swiftly, we often go about life with a blasé view that everything is normal. Each week I have a mild panic attack buying groceries, the cost is creeping up cent by blasted cent. Still I swallow it down and hand over my debit card to pay for food. On Tuesday I was sitting in the van waiting during Phillip’s drum lesson. I had a sudden thought: “what would happen if Justin died or lost his job suddenly?” I mulled over what my reactions would look like and how our family would change. 

Justin texted me during school on Thursday, asked me to call as quickly as possible. He was not in a good way,  very emotional as he explained that Cascadia is letting him go, last date of work 01 June 2024. The reasoning was his position as company controller is no longer needed, his duties will be assumed by the assistant CFO. The company is restructuring. In between the lines is a volume of information. Our natural first reaction was the feel like the floor was dropping, the knot of worry expanding in our belly. We’ve ran the gamut of emotions, Justin more so than I: fear, shame, worry, anger, helplessness, etc. Justin never really fit into his role or group of peers at Cascadia. He was told that he wasn’t working on projects like they thought he should. Justin came in and was handed a messy tangle of accounting problems that HAD to be solved before he could step into the roles to move the company forward. He’s worked harder than he was at Pennant. Once he got home we had a chance to talk about our plan to tell the family. We sat everyone down at 8:15 to tell them the news. We wanted to focus more on the miracles that set our family for this change:

I carry the health insurance, I am employed

Justin’s car accident and subsequent insurance paid off that car loan

He has not found a new car, we don’t have a car loan to pay

Wheel issue discovered before a serious accident

We got some ice cream to swallow the bitter news. I heard DQ has butterscotch dipped cones again! Yes! They do. I got one three weeks ago, stopped by the next week at the same location only to learn that it was discontinued. Tried the location near our home, success. When my cone came it was a cone of disappointment! The butterscotch was too warm so did not stick to the ice cream. I got a to-go cup of shame with more butterscotch dip to pile on my sorrow. It was fun to take Fergus out for a drive and enjoy ice cream. 

Justin went to the temple Friday morning. He felt much more at peace after the session. Justin was able to catch Everett’s last tennis match for the season at finals held at Summitvue. Everett played doubles for his last match. I caught the middle of his match on Wednesday when he played singles. He was matched against a much taller 8th grader, but did his best to hold his own. He has some really good serves and volleys. He explained that he was worried about doubles because his match partner was not communicating with him, so it felt like he was playing singles against a doubles. That was quite frustrating for him.  

Saturday Amelia started working at the Farmstead for the 3 week Spring session. She only worked a few hours before the terrible wind and rain sent everyone home. The truck was out of gas, so she borrowed $20 to get herself home. At the gas station the pump would not work, Mia asked for help twice but neither time worked. She called me in tears, sobbing, took some time to figure out what was going on. She collected herself and went back in to explain the situation, finally got it figured out. The tears were more a result of all the stress, the dam broke for her over a nearly empty gas tank. Justin was unavailable to help. I was in the middle of grocery shopping. She was alone. I am proud she got herself home in one piece. That was traumatic for her. 

We held a family and friends fast today that Justin would find a job quickly. We are all doing our best to stay positive and take it one day at a time.